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What you Want versus What You Need

Posted on 2 September, 2016 at 6:10

Here at the Sirona Clinic we care about the health of your mind and spirit, as well as that of your body. And it feels that now more than ever people need a haven from the manic lives that most are living. It is very hard to focus on your physical and psychological needs when sometimes you are so far removed from your body and mind that you no longer know what those needs are. We are surrounded by messages from media, our culture, and our peers about what we should want…and we often think that these are the things we need. There is a skill that can be re-learned which enables us to separate what we think we want from what we genuinely need. As psychoanalyst Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés puts it in her seminal book ‘Women Who Run With The Wolves’, “One of the most important discriminations we can make in this matter is the difference between things that beckon us and things that call from our souls”.

The unfortunate thing is that if we are constantly trying to meet these wants rather than our genuine needs then we are never satisfied. A very topical example is in the area of the food we give our bodies. In working with people who have a disordered approach to eating, a common complaint given is “my appetite is huge”. This is typically untrue – but it is the person’s experience because they have been feeding their body what it thinks it wants rather than what it truly needs for such a long time. It is a lovely experience to sit with somebody who finally has proof that their appetite is actually quite normal and no longer a monster that they need to fear.

So maybe as a little challenge, spend some time asking yourself what you really need. And when the answers come, allow yourself some time to question each one and figure out whether it is a genuine need, or something you think you need because others say so! Trust yourSELF.

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